Leading the Music Ministry #14 – Receiving Feedback: the Good, the Bad, & the Ugly

At my most cynical moments, I sometimes wonder why in the world I bother being involved in music ministry. It can be a great source of joy and encouragement, but it can also be a great source of contention and frustration. There is often discouragement involved because music ministry is an area of personal preference where most people feel at unusual liberty to express their selfish desires, often with little theological reflection or self-assessment. Seldom will you meet someone who has a musical preference at church who will hesitate to tell you about it, and ask you to change the way things are run so as to more suit their preferences. It can be very hard to wear, and difficult to know how to respond to – often because it’s not a black-and-white issue, but a decision-making process that requires wisdom and experience to know how to do well. It would be foolish to always make the changes that people suggest to you, but it would also be foolish to never take recommendations on board, and assume that the way you’re doing things now is the best way to serve the church family and the non-believers we want to be joining us in our gatherings.

There are already a couple of good resources available for helping you deal with people in the church family expressing their opinions to you about singing at church, and I’d encourage you to make the most of both of them:

1) Rob Smith’s article “Pleasing People All The Time and Other Myths” in Matthias Media’s “Church Musician’s Handbook” is very helpful (available here in soft-copy only, around $8 from the Matthias Media website). It’s good because it explores all of the different of dynamics of relationships, expectations, and sinfulness involved in music ministry, and how we can turn from selfishness to serving the church by keeping the main thing the main thing.

2)  My talk on Colossians 3:15-16 called “Singing From the Heart” also explores the potential sinfulness behind people’s willingness to express their opinions about church music, and looks at where that comes from, and how to deal with it well (available here on the SCPC website)

That said, I think the most important requirement for receiving feedback – both positive and negative – is humility.

“For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you. Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.” (Romans 12:3-5)

The way you are to think of yourself is:

-  Not more highly than you ought

-  With sober judgment, remembering that you are but a sinner saved by faith in Jesus

-  As a unique member of the body of Christ, alongside other members who are different to you, but share in common being saved by faith in Jesus

“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)

The church is a messed up bunch of sinners who’ve been graciously saved by the gift of faith in Jesus, and gathered together as his people. We come from all sorts of backgrounds and are all unique – both in our sinfulness and in our godliness. Often opinions about music come from all sorts of ulterior motives that may not be obvious, and often are not the right basis for changing the way things are done.

This means that, when you receive positive feedback, you shouldn’t let it get to your head and think too highly of yourself, but remember that you are a sinner saved by faith in Jesus – that’s the only measure. It means that, when you receive negative feedback, you do not need to be disheartened and assume that you are not doing a good job, but remember that both you and the person giving you feedback are a sinner saved by faith in Jesus – that’s the only measure. Remember that the person encouraging you is a unique member of the body, and for every person who thinks it’s going well there are probably plenty who would disagree! Your role will be to respond graciously and humbly to the person you are talking to, and to then prayerfully use your wisdom to assess the issue at hand.

As with all decision making, the best way to make a wise decision will be to discuss it with the pastor. As overseer of the church family, and as someone who may be aware of the dynamics involved with those who make suggestions for changes, he will have a unique insight into the situation that will be invaluable.

Having said all that, one of the other applications of thinking of ourselves “in accordance with the measure of faith” in Jesus is that, when we go for long stretches without receiving much feedback at all – whether positive or negative – it doesn’t necessarily mean that things are or aren’t going well. You can take heart in the fact that the measure of who you are is not how well the music ministry is going – but that you have faith in Jesus. And from that safe, firm, and unchanging ground, you will always be safe to assess how the music ministry is going, and use your wisdom to know which feedback you take on board, and which feedback you don’t.

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